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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Late Sunday Night Update

So it was a pretty good weekend, the really high temps that have been so bad have really eased off a lot, making it much more pleasurable to be outside now.
Speaking of outside I have been bringing in a very nice season of Stevia. Many of the plants are just now beginning to open thier delicate little white blooms. I am going to let a large portion go all the way to seed stage and collect. At the end of this season I will add a layer of soil and compost around the clipped low existing plants, and in this plant my new seeds. I will  put the plants to bed for winter with a covering of sterile straw probably end of October early November. The mint and Lemon Balm have been exceptional this year as well, and the bonus honeysuckle blossoms which were such a pleasure to smell this late in the season were a welcome bonus. Aromas and scents can make you feel good, especially if associated with a good memory. For me lilacs will always remind me of childhood:) We had a huge copse of them on the Farm in NewMilford. lol when you got in trouble that's where you had to go pick your switch. Mom loved lilacs, and so do I. Shame their season is so short. All I know is this season the Herbal Tea Ingredients are Primo.

More Good News, I would say the Armyworm battle has been quite succesfull, I have seen -0- of the buggars, moth, or catepillars for 2 days now, and no new progress showing through the Bermuda grass, so that's great. Key is now to just keep an eye out for the moths, as from what I understand blowing around on storm fronts they can travel quite long distances. So from now to first frost another wave could theoretically come through and start eatring where the last wave left off. At least now I know what the moths look like and will be aggressively watching for them. We'll see as hurricanes start to get active and high winds become a high possibility.
OKAY Night all
Till Tomorrow
Peace Out:)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My Current Favorite Song:)

I Love music and singing, not being able to sing has been one of the suckiest parts of this whole throat cancer mess, but this song MAKES me Smile and sing....
It hurts like hell, but it feels so good, wouldn't want to stop it even if I could
just the thought of you can make me Smile:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arLwtHj3Ta0

You´re better then the best

I´m lucky just to linger in your life

Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right

Completely unaware

Nothing can compare to where you send me

Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok

And the moments when my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed

Sing like a bird

Dizzy in my head

Spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold

Buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh you make me smile

Even when you´re gone

Somehow you come along

Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that

You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of

bed sing like bird

Dizzy in my head spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold

buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh you make me smile

Don´t know how I lived without you

Cuz everytime that I get around you

I see the best of me inside your eyes

You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold

buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed

sing like bird

Dizzy in my head

spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold

buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh you make me smile

Ohh you make me smile

Ohh you make me smile

9/03/10
Just got done listening again, still smiling, I listen and I see my kids, my kids kids, it makes me sad too, because they're so far away, but I feel so much love, so much joy just listening... sigh miss having them all close by:(
Empty nester confessor

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Bad News Number Three? And the Continuing Saga of the Armyworm Battle

Well as far as bad news number three, I guess not so bad, although I really will not know for sure until after September 9th. I did go my appointments Friday, but I have so many things going at once that I am trying to keep up with, I never got back on here to update on the cancer stuff.

Yes, I have been approved for and the PET/ CT scan, it is scheduled, they called me yesterday, and it will be done on the 9th, as well as having labs drawn for the chemo doc that day, then I will see Dr. B and Dr. W again and we'll talk. Here is the post cancer treatment information that I have from them as far as opinions on what's up so far.

The persistent edema (swelling) has continued longer than "normal", and was attributed to "slow healing" up to this point. Now though, since my taste buds have been returning in leaps and bounds, indicating healing is progressing, this makes them feel possibly not related to slow healing. Persistent swelling could indicate recurrent disease. Also the loss of voice they are very concerned over. This is because when scoped the throat actually looks GREAT, except for swelling. My vocal chords are free and clear of any obvious problems, which means it is most likely the voice box itself having problems now. On a good note, kind of, the voice box problem may be related to damage from radiation treatments, and not recurrent cancer. On a bad note if it is necrosis of voice box as he suspects if adequate blood flow cannot be restored tissue death will continue, and could lose voice box which all the cancer treatments I have endured were to preserve. That would be a major bummer too.

So, putting these concerns on the back burner for now, till the 9th, and staying busy with other things. Like harvesting and preserving my herbs for my tea blends, taking care of my animal menagerie and FIGHTING ARMYWORMS lol.

The armyworms have a cycle that goes from the moth which is nocturnal laying eggs, small catepillar like worms hatch, eat and eat and eat, and then bury themselves in leaf and loose earth and grass debris in a chrysalis or pupea stage thingy, and then hatch out a moth to go do it all over again. One moth can lay like 200 eggs.

I do not use any pesticides of any kind around my plants or gardens, never have never will. First line of defense is diligence, catch the eggs stage on leaves. 2nd line, with the garden hose set to highest pressure I have been patroling the garden perimeter. With a stick I Have been squishing every catepillar and chrysilis I stir up from where they lurk, right at the root level. The 3rd line of defense? Attack the moth population directly, before they lay eggs.

For this application, yes I am using house and garden flying insect, instant death spray, BUT NO Where Near My Plants or Gardens. I am using  lights to draw the suckers in at three separate areas. The Back Deck, Out front near the main flood light in the driveway, and the light right above the barn door. You would not believe how many come into the light. I have been going out twice a night now, 10 p.m and midnight and sparingly sprayed onto a very limited surface area. Bazinga, that's a lot of moths that are not going to lay 200 eggs apiece.

We'll see how it goes. For a farmer trying to protect hundreds of acres I imagine my efforts may be futile, but I am going to give it all I got, without going against my beliefs.

As I mentioned in the earlier post, we would not be having the armyworm problem if there were no BT genetically modified Crops.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Okay Bad News Number Two That I Promised To Post

ARMY FREAKIN WORMS!!! Yes Armyworms. We have never had them before, but we do this year.
We are all familiar with gypsy moth caterpillars? Well these are similar looking to those. These armyworms are actually the larva or caterpillar stage of the armyworm moth.
Army worms are very destructive, eating the plants from the root system up. Thier favorite or preferred diet is bermuda grass, but when that runs out they have been known to consume just about anything. sigh, if it isn't one thing it's another.
We have a mix here of bermuda and fescue, and I had noticed there were weird looking patches in a few spots of the bermuda down near the greenhouse. A few days later this splotchiness had moved about 25 feet along, moving into the pool area. It was when I noticed this definate spreading trend that the local news aired a story about these armyworms. When they reached the concrete pool border they split into three groups, to the left, to the right and into the pool.
They are edging closer to my main garden area, so important to my herbal tea business, and since I refuse to use chemicals the only thing between the path they are traveling and the main bed is the railroad ties set in the ground around it. Here's hoping they choose the easier path and go around to either side, as the majority at the pool obstacle did.
So why are the armyworms showing up even into states farther north than ours? Because of BT Crops. That's right another incident of genetically modified crops messing up the balance of mother nature. Turns out besides killing innocent monarch butterflies and bees, which of course has been denied, the BT crops are also wiping out a helpful little hitchhiking parasite that usually attaches to a cutworm larva in the very early stages, resulting in death.
Well it is late, and I am tired, I will elaborate here in greater detail, with links on the armyworms tomorrow, as well as post a seperate entry regarding yesterdays doctors appointments.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Stress Level Code Red: Low appraisals in Home refinance process

You know they always say bad news comes in threes, so I am hoping something else that has substantial "Bad News" qualifications comes along before my big doctors appointment tomorrow.

I still do not have the energy to fully address bad news number one, which was the under valued property appraisal that I mentioned a week or so ago, but here goes, and then later I will post number two bas news.

I am sure I am not alone in this, there are many hardworking homeowners that pay their mortgages on time that have recently tried to take advantage of the great rates supposedly available in today's home mortgage market. So I will say this much on the topic of home refinancing.

We thought we were getting a 4.5%, that would have combined our 1st & 2nd mtgs, as well as paid  off car note. Sounded great, worked out to a savings of over $600.00 a month. Everything was in order, credit score and income were considered good to go, and all we needed was the appraisal. At last appraisal home was valued at $197,500., we knew the market had taken a hit, but among numerous improvements we had purchased an adjoining 2 acre lot that gave us not only more land of course, and road frontage, but also made us a corner lot property. We figured, quite frankly, that it would end up a wash, and appraise out at about the same value as last appraisal from about 7 years ago. With the give and take of market loss vs. the improvements.

Well, don't ask me how, but number one the appraisal did not include the additional 2 acres, number two the 2 of the 3 comps used were foreclosure sales, number 4 distance from subject property given was not true, and number 5 none of the comps "comparable" amenities. No fenced/gated pastures, no barn, no outbuildings of any kind, never mind a green house, no pool, no fruit trees, no mention of the multiple herbal perennial beds, never mind my beautiful persimmon trees, or our recently launched herbal tea business, none what so ever. I could go on , it was just ridiculous... Appraisal came in $30,000 lower than last one. 

So even though exhausted, and not feeling well, and knowing that the way the system is... I mean lets face it you can't argue with a computer software program, which is how all these mortgage loans are written now. It is all up to how you fit in the boxes assigned now. The people actually do very little figuring out of anything anymore. If they can find a way to fit your concerns into a box, fine, if they can't, well then you are just SOL.

According to the appraisal mgt. team that my first appeal was presented to my property has NO VALUE WHAT SO EVER AS A HOME BASED BUSINESS THAT WOULD INDICATE THE PERRENIAL GARDENS/GREENHOUSE/ FRUIT TREES SHOULD BE ASSIGNED A VALUE.
Their exact words were :"As Also noted this property is on only four acres and logically far too small to have signifigant commercial potential. The highest and best use of this property is clearly residential" .

So again, no correction to note it as six acres instead of four, and I guess 2 acres do not matter anyway, obviously I and many other herbal tea businesses and home crafters of value added products have no clue, as the experts in the mortgage and appraisal industry have spoken. There is  "logically" no potential for this property as a business, therefore no added value.

In regards to my concerns about using foreclosed properties as comps I was told " the appraiser demonstrated on form 1004MC that values are indeed stable". In other words, pay no mind to foreclosures in your area, even though they are affecting my value when used as comps. There is no mortgage crisis, all is well. He met his requirements because they say so I guess.
Well enough for now, Peace Out all. I will try to get on later and finish up with bad news number two.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Cry With a Big Smile

Being a big Military Family this one really hits home here. This video is guaranteed to make you cry your eyeballs out while your face has the biggest smile you have ever felt on it, more like a permagrin. I know I did:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX2rLAMN-8k

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Little Gifts From Above

Well Let me tell you, right now it is thundering so violently that my computer monitor is shaking and wobbling from the repercussion of the rumbles. It is almost one in the afternoon, but even with the shades drawn the flashes are like superimposing images on my eyeballs like a camera flash lol. Crazy, awesome, scary, powerful, wonderful, nature in motion, I Love It:)

Respect it would be a better way to describe what I feel. My biological Mom was actually struck and killed by lightening. It says in my baby book, which has no entries after that, June 15th (I was 8 months old) that she was "Killed hanging up my last diaper". We used clothe ones back then, giving away my age, but that's okay. I kinda like getting old.

Besides, I like the person I am growing up into, better than the person I was in my youth, even with all my aches and pains. lol.

Ruh Roh Reorge, satellite is out, the storm must be upon us at the moment. It is POURING. I bet the horsies are glad I brought them in now, lol, they looked at me like I was a little crazy when I went down around 11:00 and brought them in. They don't mind anyway as long as its not too hot, they like coming in, they know its always good for at least a couple goody bisquits before I head up to the house.

So anyway, I am rambling again, guess what happened yesterday?

I was just thinking the other day as I was mixing up a batch of floral bouquet herbal tea mix, thats dried rose petals, honeysuckle, and clover blossoms, how I wish I had more honeysuckle. That made me think of how heavenly it smells in the drying room from May to June, when I normally harvest them, and have multiple trays drying at a time. I was also thinking during this same time frame, and had even posted about it, how it is the smallest things that can bring the greatest joy.

These small gifts are treasures from above, and they really are truly a blessing. I mean sometimes we get in a slump, a funk or whatever you want to call it, and these little gifts can lift us up, or over, or give us strength to push through.

Its not that you're always clinically depressed, like doctors and pharmaceutical corporations that make money by making you think ... take a pill and fix everything... want you to think, it's just that sometimes stuff happens in our lives and we need to gather up our strength,  prepare to hunker down to get through these moments in time.

Sometimes we need a little help at the right moments to not let these issues in our lives, whether it be health, finances, love, or all of the above, drag us down. Down to a point where we forget to treasure the small pleasures of the moment .

In a post the other day I mentioned how it is sometimes the smallest things that can bring the greatest joys, make you laugh, feel warm and fuzzy inside, or perk your interest. Like newborn babies, a smile, seeing a good friend or family member after a long time apart, a dew covered spider web dazzling like diamonds in a ray of morning sunshine, watching animals and insects interact with each other in their natural environments, gazing at the sky day or night. These little things, and so many others.
These little treasures from above help us in some of the most amazing and unique ways, if only we do not stop taking the time to notice and appreciate them for what they are. Take the time to stop and smell those flowers. If you don't your the one who will miss out.
Laughter, love, joy and inquisitiveness create good feelings, don't you think?
It's like getting a hug when you needed one most, your first cup of coffee in the morning, a fresh clean downpour after a long hot spell, priceless.

haha I digress again, so what happened yesterday already! Lol.
I have a few honeysuckle that began to run along the horse fencing, that runs near one of my mint beds, near the greenhouse. I transplanted six of them just to the outside of the fence about 4 years ago, and they have taken off pretty nicely. Right now they cover about a ten foot stretch of the fence. So honeysuckle blooms early May through June down here, and I have never heard of a second bloom for honeysuckle, but guess what? This run of honeysuckle is going into full bloom again.
When I looked up from the greenhouse I saw this big blob of white in the bush, and then another, and started walking over, thinking what in the world was it? Then I realized oh wow, they're flowers.
Of course I got a tray and started gathering. Got a few more this morning before it rained too. It is sooooooooo nice. For two days now I have been walking in and out and in and out of the room, just to breathe in the aroma. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it is just such a pleasant scent. lol aroma therapy at its best:)
Okay, gotta get off of here and try to accomplish a few things, peace out all.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

6 Months Post Radiation and Chemo Treatments

I try to keep it positive here as a form of therapy for myself and perhaps others in some small way, so Okay I know I have been away again for an extremely long time. I was having a hard time coming up with something positive to write about for a bit. My apologies but besides the extreme heat wave which makes it exhausting to accomplish the simplest of outside chores, I have not been not feeling so great as mentioned in some of my previous post since Memorial Day weekend. We have also been very busy getting ready for our appraisal that was "completed" last week. Why the quotes? Because I would like you to insert sarcastic tone here, most incomplete, unproffessional appraisal I have ever seen. Might as well have been a drive by, and the comps are so incomparable to what we have here. Oh Well... That will be a topic for another post when I have more time, right now I am supposed to focus on my topic which is where I am at six months out from last cancer treatment.
As you may have read here on my blog I was diagnosed with stage IVb throat cancer last year, and as of April I had clean scans... no saliva, and a few funky tastebuds that couldn't tell poop from pomegranites lol, and problems with neck and muscles from radiation damage.
I want to mention again here as far as the taste buds, because this is something many cancer treatment patients go through, I feel your pain if you are experiencing this now. I had begun chewing a Stevia leaf most mornings as I watered the garden. I was surprised that other sweet sugary foods I had tried, including apples which I love, tasted like dirt, and worse, but the stevia tasted good. There are so few things that have tasted good, and it was a treat. Well, come to find out research has shown that stevia is actually good for your oral health. As a matter of fact in many countries it is listed as a mouthwash ingredient lol.  Anyway, yes it was nice to taste something good, so I got in the habit of chewing a little piece , you only need a tiny tiny piece while I was out there. The docs have been amazed at the good conditions in my mouth at last visit. Well Guess what? I ate an apple yesterday... AND IT WAS GOOD!!!! Hurray.
Lol seriously unless you lost your ability to taste and produce saliva like those who have gone through chemo or radiation, especially of the head and neck, you could never understand how difficult it makes eating.
I had posted a month or so ago that I really missed the flavor of apples. Well we picked our ripe apples the other day, and the granny smith's are delicious:)
hehehe it is sometimes the smallest of little things in life that can bring the greatest joy:)
A tiny newborn baby, a smile, a hug... and the taste of apples.
Have hope the taste buds will return :)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Amazing Grace - Rhema Marvanne 7 yr Gospel singer


Beautiful :) Amazing Amazing Grace. Rhema Marvanne
Friend of mine posted this, it is truly worth a listen. This little girl has been on the Maury show but I never heard of her until it showed up on my facebook wall. Enjoy.