A Moment of Giving In To Depressing Developments

I do try very hard to keep my writing on an upbeat, positive note. Not just for myself, but for other cancer survivors dealing with the many changes and obstacles that arise when you Live Life after cancer. For some I am sure these changes, that affect your stamina, mental outlook, as well as physical capabilities can be much more difficult than what I am feeling, and for others these impacts maybe less pronounced. I guess if I was not such an active, outdoorsy sort of person I would not feel so frustrated with what I am going through now. I was doing pretty good until I had my shoulder operation, or at least I thought so anyway. I guess I would recommend that anyone post cancer seriously consider the risks of surgery just being too much to recuperate from.  Surgery was back in December, and here it is May, and I just cannot seem to bounce back. It is no help whatsoever improving my attitude that the surgery to"fix" my shoulder that had hurt for so long, since before my cancer diagnosis, has actually made it far worse.

For me it is a major upset in my life that for the first time ever, for all of my 50 years long I have lived, I have not put in a garden. Even more depressing is that the first week of May is almost over, and I do not see my garden happening.

I just can't do it:( 

Oh okay enough being a crybaby... time to put on my big girl panties I guess, and just continue to do what I can, that is the best I can do.