Made It to A New Year:)

Goodness gracious where does the time go? I have been sooooooo busy over the past few weeks. I have neglected my writing completely. There have been no blog entries and editing my book has been halted at chapter seven for 2 weeks, and more importantly I have not even  posted updates to my friends. Between surgeries (shoulder for myself and nasal for my husband), Holidays and welcomed holiday visitors, and physical therapy sessions there just has not been enough hours in the day lately. But, The New Year has begun, and this is the first official Monday of 2011 and I say lets start it off right. Here's to 2011 being the year that all of your hopes, dreams and wishes come true.

For me what really bites the most, and I hope is going to change soon are my sleep patterns. For the past 3-4 weeks now I have not been able to sleep at night. I cannot even remember my last good nights sleep. It doesn't matter if I try to lay down at 8 p.m. or 3 a.m. It is toss and turn all night long. Snatching bits and pieces of sleep here and there, waking up every time I do fall asleep at all. The clock ticks away in 1 1/2 to 2 hour increments, all night long. Every night. Quite frustrating, and it is really beginning to wear me down. Just ask Kevin, he'll tell you how crabby I have been:)

Hopefully it has just  been the excitement of the season, and this phase will pass now that all of the decorations are put away, the tree has been tossed out, and I can try to slide back in to my daily routine ( a routine I have been trying to establish), with less interruptions and distractions. I know I will still have the physical therapy and doctors appointments to work in, but I need some kind of routine, I need to find my normal.

The shoulder surgery really took a lot more out of me than I was expecting to be honest. At this point I am still thinking I wish I never did it, but we'll see if this opinion changes in the near future. I had no idea this was going to be so painful, and therapy is an absolutely excruciating, tear jerking misery for a few of the many exercises. For those who I have failed to fill in the doctor shaved down the bone for my shoulder socket where there were some large calcium deposit like bone spur things, and then he spent almost two hours cutting back a large segment of tendon. He said it took 4 attempts before he was satisfied it had the best chance to reattach. He also mentioned the tendon itself was oddly discolored. I am his first post radiation cancer patient, and the surgical area was part of the targetted region during treatment, because the radiation was also directed at certain lymph nodes, distant from my throat. It is possibly the radiation treatments  are what is slowing the shoulder surgery recovery. I also had quite a lot of trouble with my neck from the nerve block they used, and unfortunately will probably be returning to physical therapy for my neck, as it has gotten quite bad again. My one year anniversary for completing all chemo and radiation treatments will be January 21st, so I guess I would recommend to anyone considering surgery in a location that was within the field of radiation treatments to wait as long as possible, because it does seem to slow recovery time somewhat.

Other than that though, I am really doing quite good. As I have mentioned before I can taste a lot of different foods now, and being able to taste and smell works wonders for the appetite:) I am still not crazy about anything with a lot of sugar, but that's OK. And on a good note all of the preparation and cleaning for company during the holiday season has allowed me to begin the fresh new year with a nice clean house. Believe me, I had a lot of catching up to do after the past year and a half of cancer treatment and recovery. I am still not "caught up", but, I am satisfied with how far I got. We are also FINALLY in the process of putting down the new tile floor in what will be the old living room, which is going to become the new dining room, and the computer room is going to become the living room, and one of the empty bedrooms (Tennille's old room) will become my private computer room. With a door I can close. LOL. Gee I guess we are still pretty busy:)

I will try to respond promptly to any posts, lol, I do get on and check my email (Usually) at least once a day, and will of course as always happily reply to any newly diagnosed cancer patients with questions,  friends old and new, and family.
Again
HAPPY NEW YEAR

Wow Can't Believe I let so Many Days Pass Without A Post

Seriously here it is Friday, and late at that, and I have not posted here since last weekend. Shame on me. I have been quite busy though, between doctors appointments and I am always doing something here.

I must admit this new pain in my throat has really been a cramp in the butt, and of course the latest problem meant a rash of trips to Atlanta to see my oncology docs. They have put me on a round of antibiotics " just in case", since I insist on kissing my parrot goodnight and the horses good morning, and clean cat boxes and horse stalls, etc.... They have also scheduled another set of scans to include neck, head and chest. He said I was due for the scans anyway. While they do the scans they said they are also going to be looking for evidence of circulatory issues due to tissue damage from radiation treatments. All in all I hope they figure this one out soon. I really think going to be a circulatory issue though, using muscles, especially arms, aggravates. Tipping my head back, like when I am star gazing at night, I can feel the stretch pulling the skin and muscles really tight all the way down to my ribs. So I think It is going to be resolved through more therapy. Keep moving and using it.

This past week was also the last of persimmon leaf picking, and I am very happy with my stores I have set aside. Persimmon leaf is a very important ingredient in my teas. I will say this though, I have read that persimmon is useful to lose weight, which is the opposite of what I need. I need to gain weight. I continue to drop a pound a week, currently at 96. I think part of it though is that pain burns calories. I have a high pain threshold, so often I just keep doing what I am doing. The more I do the more it hurts, until it reaches a point I have to take a pill to get relief. Dr. Saba said I was right and it does, but just the same I am going to try a little experiment. I am going to cut back on my persimmon leaf in my tea, and add more to my husbands. He needs to lose a few pounds, it could be an interesting experiment. Although Kev certainly won't be dieting. It's hot summer and when he is off work, he likes to have a few beers while he works around here, lol. But we'll see, if he loses and I gain:)

Big day tomorrow, going riding again. We plan to be saddled up before it gets too hot tomorrow, and IF a certain someone who will remain nameless can manage to take a few pictures w/out banging the poop out of my poor old camera that would be very nice.

This is Earnie (Earnhardt's Proverbs) The one I rode last week, this week I want to get on Jake :)

Sore Throat Finally Making me Go To Doctors

Okay well I have been trying really hard to ignore the pain that began in my throat last Tuesday after a follow up scope by the ENT/ONC specialist. I have to admit it, because it has  reached a point where even air coming across it hurts severely. Since I do have to breathe whether I like it or not needless to say, air is constantly aggravating the pain. This is especially so when I am outside. I think that's why I finally had to admit that I needed to see the doc, because I was outside yesterday for quite a few hours straight, and I am paying for it today.

I guess if I want to admit it I can here, yes I am a little worried. This pain is up higher than the original cancer site, and I have read that cancers developing from the radiation treatments are sometimes as high as 40%... That where Inspire .com omes in. When I need a lift I like to go there. There are quite a few people that are 5 + years cancer free after head and neck cancer treatments.
I was having no pain at all in my throat for quite some time now. As I have posted lately my biggest issues have been overcoming some tissue and muscle damage in my neck from the radiation, which does hurt sometimes (especially after therapy) and ringing in my ears, which docs say is from chemo, and may or may not go away, as well as issues with eating because of a lack of saliva and working taste buds... and those were enough problems to worry about, But there has been no pain in my  throat since like March.

I was hoping it was just from the doc scoping my throat. You know they go in through your nose with the flexible camera, and look down. I have had so many scopes through out treatment and after, and never had a problem with pain afterwards, not even a little pain, never mind this kind of pain. The scope was done the Tuesday after Memorial Day, so it has been a week and 2 days now, without improvement. I am still hopefull though he will find out he scraped something on the way down that will explain the pain.

At least sipping my tea soothes it for a little while. Not sure if my teas are going to protect me from growth of any post radiation treatment crazy cells, guess I will be finding out:)

At least I have finally made the appointment, so maybe I can get some answers tomorrow. I don't know why I hate going back to see the docs and nurses I got to know so well during treatment, but I do. Just the drive up, and the smells and being there brings everything back too fresh I guess. I don't want to go to docs and hospitals, I don't want to be sick. That was why I insisted on pulling the PEG tube, it made me feel like a patient, a sick person. I think I need to just realize like it or not, I am probably going to be in close contact with doctors and hospitals for the rest of my life.

Hey, whatever, life goes on, and so will I.
Hehe I have already been considering canceling the appointment. I am bad, why do I hate going to the doctors so bad? Trying to convince myself it feels a little better right now.
Lol I bet when I get to docs tomorrow morning it will feel all better, and I will be mad at myself for making the appointment and wasting a day.

I have to leave for physical therapy in a bit, so I probably will not post further until after tomorrows appointment si I have a better idea what's up.
Peace Out